


A Chat With Simon

by worrywart1966



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-27
Updated: 2013-10-27
Packaged: 2017-12-30 16:07:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1020686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/worrywart1966/pseuds/worrywart1966
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Severus Snape was a spy, he was used to being up in the early hours of the morning and that usually meant no good. Now with the war over, he is again up in the early hours, but for a much more enjoyable reason.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Chat With Simon

**Author's Note:**

> This was the very first story I ever posted. I thought it would be appropriate that it would be the very first story I posted to AO3.

As he shifted his weight on the bed, getting more comfortable, Severus Snape realized that being awake into the early morning hours was nothing new for him. As a professor, his nights had consisted of meandering patrols and restless pacing; as a Death Eater, his time had been spent on his knees in apparent obedience to his ‘master’.  


He had hoped that his own death would mean the end to all of that. He went to the Shrieking Shack that May night fully expecting that he would not walk out alive; that he would finally be free of both of his masters, and that he would finally be with Lily.  


His expectations were not met.  


He spent the first year after the battle working through his recovery. He had not yet returned to teaching, but did watch from afar as Slughorn blustered the returning eighth years through Potions in order to complete their NEWTS. He also continued his habit of meandering patrols and restless pacing. In those quiet hours, he came to terms with his surprising acquittal, and the fact that the driving force that governed his life for twenty years was no longer attainable; Lily was lost to him forever. The only unexpected benefit was that he was finally able to manage a few more hours of sleep at night.  


In March of 2002, four years after the war, Severus was again getting little sleep, but the reason why was infinitely more enjoyable. He was sitting on the bed of his spare bedroom, propped up against the headboard of the bed, his knees pulled up to his chest. He wore a black t-shirt, black joggers, and white socks (he learned early on that black socks and prolonged wear of his dragon hide boots were a lethal combination).  


If you looked at his lap closely, you could see why his knees were pulled up. A tiny baby, just two months old, was propped against them. Black eyes gazed upon somewhat owlishly blinking black eyes of his son, Simon Tobias Snape.  


With an awe that still gobsmacked him, Severus watched Simon’s small hands moved uncoordinatedly about his face, sometimes running into the thatch of black hair inherited from his father. Severus’s own hair was longer than it had ever been, falling well below his shoulder blades now. During the day, he wore it pulled back with a tie, but in the middle of the night it hung down unfettered. He ran his hand over the top of Simon’s head to smooth his hair down.  


Severus then reached his fingers towards tiny hands to pull them away from his son's little face. When indescribably small fingers latched themselves around longer pale ones, Severus was amazed by their strength. He marvelled at each wrinkled knuckle and each small, fragile fingernail.  


On a whim, Severus tugged off the thick, tiny sock covering a long, minute foot that had made its way out of the bottom of the drawstring sleeper. He lifted the foot up for closer inspection. It was heavily lined and scrawny; Simon had yet to gain the fat that would plump up the skin into a healthy, rosy glow. Severus touched each toe and again marvelled at the tiny nails. He ran a finger along the sole of the tiny foot and laughed quietly as Simon’s instinctive reaction caused the foot to flex and then pull away.  


As he carefully replaced the sock, Severus was filled with a sense of complete joy by the tiny creature that had come into his life. To think that just four years ago he hoped he would be dead, and here he was, looking at himself in miniature form; something he never thought he would ever do. A wife, let alone a child, was not something he allowed himself to think of during the years of darkness and devotion to a dead woman ruled his life.  


He ran a long finger down Simon’s cheek, the infant turning toward the feeling with its natural rooting instinct. "Sorry little fellow, it’s not mum’s breast or the bottle, just your dad’s finger," Severus whispered softly. He wrapped his long fingered hands around Simon’s tiny trunk and pulled the boy toward him, pressing his lips against his downy forehead. With his rather prodigious nose, Severus inhaled his son’s scent, thanking the Creators that Simon inherited his mother’s nose.  


Settling his son back down against his knees, Severus spoke again, softly, "Perhaps tomorrow I should do as your mum asks and get this bed out of here so we can finish up your room. We weren’t expecting you so soon. Your mum had an accident; she fell down the stairs, and she was very badly hurt. It was decided that you needed to be born just a bit sooner than you should have so that we could save mum’s life. Your mum is fine now, don’t you worry." Severus patted Simon’s tummy. "Have I told you how much I love your mum?"  


Severus watched Simon look about his small world with a tiny scowl on his face, but each time Severus spoke, his baritone voice rumbled through Simon’s chest, and the baby would turn his head toward his father’s voice. Severus smiled; a real smile that went to his eyes. "Yes," he said. "Your mummy loves you, too. And for some unfathomable reason, she loves me. Shall I tell you how your mum and I met?" Simon made a little noise in his nappy, and Severus laughed. "Don’t know if that was a yes, but I hope you feel better now."  


Simon scrunched up his legs inside his sleeper, and Severus enjoyed feeling the weight of his little body as it squirmed against his legs. He pulled a blanket off a chair next to the bed and covered Simon with it.  


"I met your mum eleven years ago when she first came to Hogwarts. She was a tiny, bushy-haired know-it-all, and she was insufferable. Your mum was constantly raising her hand and spouting her knowledge. I disliked her quite a bit. I had a lot on my mind then and couldn’t be bothered with a little girl anyway. No, I had to watch over her dunderheaded little friend, Potter," Severus said, sneering.  


Although a tacit truce was held between Harry and Severus now, he still would rather Potter remained as far away as possible. However, Hermione insisted Harry be godfather to Simon, and so Severus put up with him. It was the least he could do for his Hermione.  


Tucking the blanket around Simon a little more, Severus continued his story. "Mum got into quite a bit of trouble with her friends. When she was seventeen, she ran away with Potter and Weasley to find the Horcruxes to save the Wizarding world. That year was nearly my undoing," Severus sighed. "I had to try to keep one step ahead to make sure nothing happened to them. I knew mum really didn’t like me then. I had done some rotten, unforgiveable things, you see." Severus saw that Simon was staring at him, with a little scowl still fixed on his face.  


"Eventually, there was a big battle. Your mum and her friends found me in the Shrieking Shack where I had been attacked. They thought I was dying, and I had hoped I would. They left me, but your mum came back after a couple of hours. She found everything she needed to save my life in my pockets, and then she took me to the hospital. When I was able to leave the hospital, I came back here. Nowhere else to go, really," Severus said with a shrug of his shoulders.  


"After a year spent healing, your Grandma Minerva asked me to teach again, and she let me pick whether I wanted to teach Potions again or DADA. I chose DADA, but I had to train someone as well to teach Potions. I didn’t know who Grandma Minerva hired until the day she showed up. It was your mum!  


"I was very mad at first. I had never liked her; I thought she was a still a know-it-all, and I didn’t think she could do it. At the same time though, I couldn’t help but notice that the war had changed her. She was quieter and not so eager to show herself off. As well, I had noticed how much your mum had grown. She was very tall and very good looking. She was very thin and had a nice pair of bre…well, she looked nice all over." Severus couldn’t believe he nearly told his son what he nearly told him. But he was so caught up in memories right now; did having a child turn you into a babbling idiot?  


"I learned that your mum was really smart, not just a know-it-all. She learned very fast, and she helped me brew the potions the hospital wing needed as part of her training. We spent many hours together, and we learned to be friends. I think your mum really helped me, too. I learned from her that it is okay to have ‘fun’," he sneered as he said that. "She helped me learn it is okay to trust people, to care for them. I learned that people close to you will hurt you, but never intentionally. Most of all, my little boy, I learned that it was okay to forgive myself. Your mummy taught me that. She gave me many gifts, Simon, and not the material kind. After about eight months or so, I asked your mum if she would like to go to dinner with me. At that dinner, I told her that I would like to get to know her as more than just a colleague and hoped that she feel the same way. Well, since you are here, I guess you can figure out what her answer was."  


Severus noticed Simon was asleep now. He picked him up and again brought him close to his lips. "You are the best gift she ever gave me, beside her love," he whispered in the baby’s ear. He placed the baby in his cot, covering him with the blanket. Severus placed his hand on the back of Simon’s head to feel the warm roundness against his palm; that small head did not even fill his palm.  


He made his way to his own bedroom and stood at the foot of the bed. Hermione was asleep on her back. He knew she had healed from her fall, but those couple of weeks were quite scary for him. He was thrust into fatherhood sooner than he expected, and between juggling teaching, the baby, and caring for Hermione, he had been overwhelmed. The Fates were kind, and Hermione survived and the baby thrived. He could not have borne it if he had lost her or his son. He stripped off his shirt and climbed into bed.  
"Severus?" Hermione mumbled sleepily.  


"Yes, love?" he answered as he pulled her closer to him.  


"Is the baby alright?"  


"Yes. He is fed and changed and sleeping soundly."  


"What took so long, then?"  


"He and I were having a little chat."  


Hermione was a little more alert now and turned toward Severus. "What do you mean, ‘little chat’? You didn’t use Legilimency on him did you?"  


"Of course not," Severus chuckled. "I was sitting there with him, and I was just looking at him." Severus choked up a bit, "Hermione, he is just so perfect. I can hardly believe he is my son, and that you gave him to me."  


"I would say thank you for giving him to me," began Hermione.  


Severus put a finger to her lips. "Shh, and let me finish. You have gifted me with so many things, Hermione. I am unsure that I could ever begin to be worthy of them. You are the reason I get up every day, breathe every day, live every day. I never thought I could have this life…a woman who loves me and has given me a son." Hermione began to cry and Severus pulled her closer to him. "Promise you will help me be worthy of you and Simon, and you will help me love you both."  


"My heart and soul are yours." Hermione leaned up to kiss his lips. She placed a hand on the side of his face to caress his cheek. He began to rub her back and soon, the kiss took on a life of its own. "Please, love me now," she breathily whispered in his ear.  


"Are you sure?" Do you think you’re healed enough?"  


"Yes. Poppy said this morning everything is fine."  


"I love you, Hermione."  


No more words were spoken for a long time that morning.


End file.
